This is a glimpse into our journey to our sweet Ethiopian son. Through this journey we found a new heart. God lead us closer to himself and we are forever grateful for this opportunity.
3.05.2010
I need your input...
In preparing my talk I need your help. What are some reasons Christians don't adopt? What is your reasoning or things you have heard from other people.
Here is my opinion: 1. They are DNA idolators. (and yes I would even use that phrase. my husband has in preaching before).People idolize their genetics, they want someone who "looks" like them, they somehow think their blood is better than someone else's. 2. It will require the family to deal with difficult family members and strangers who don't understand or are simply racist and/or DNA idolators. 3.it will mess up their seemingly "perfect" and matching family Christmas card where they all bear some kind of cute little physical resemblance (you think i'm joking but we know people like this). 4. they THINK they cannot afford it. in my opinion, another bad excuse. 5. they are AFRAID of the process. the only reason for this is b/c they have not EDUCATED themselves on the process. another excuse, b/c the answer is simple. educate yourself.
My best question is instead "what is a good reason a Christian SHOULDN'T adopt?" Most reasons are self-focused and involve idols of our hearts if we are really honest with ourselves. I would focus (if I were you) on idols of the heart. Most people's reason for not adopting almost ALWAYS come down to idols in their heart..Idols of financial stability, appearance, DNA, time, convenience, the "burden" of an extra child or two, foregoing the luxury of extra spending money, etc. Or my FAVORITE...the ever present "spirituality excuses" of God's will, His timing, we don't know if God really wants us to adopt, etc, etc, etc. These excuse bother me more than anything. I'd rather hear someone say, "I just don't want to" than give spirituality excuses. Sometimes it is not a matter of God "revealing some great mighty truth about adoption to someone, or sending a lightning bolt that says, 'Now is the time!' Sometimes, it is just getting up and doing it. When Jesus was caring for the poor, the sick, the downtrodden, when did he stop and say, "well, I'll pray about doing something about their terrible situation. i will wait for God's timing." No, he acted right away, according to the need. Even with Jairius daughter, he didn't even wait to get there to heal her. She was healed before he even arrived.
anyway, just my thoghts. can you tell we get passionate about this? we hear A LOT of Christian gives these lame excuses when really in their hearts, their idols just don't want to.
Oh boy, where to begin. 1) It's too expensive, 2) They want to try to have a biological child/children first, 3) They have their "plan" (I was actually told this after I encouraged someone to adopt, even though they had just said, "I'd love to adopt."), 4) They haven't come face-to-face with the need (faces, not just numbers), 5) Especially international adoption has many obstacles and long wait times, 6) Opposition (often from family) to adopt another race, 7) They don't want more children, 8) Some are not called to adopt (but some just aren't obedient to Christ's calling for them to adopt), 9) In domestic adoption, they're afraid the birth parent might change their mind and keep the child, 10) Some think they are too old (or too young), 11) Some don't want to use the energy and effort that it takes to adopt and parent, 12) Some fear the problems/baggage an adopted child might bring (lighting fires to the living room drapes, hurting the younger children, etc.), 13) Some fear they won't love an adopted child as much as their birth child/children, 14) Some have had such hard experiences while trying to adopt that they've selected a different path, 15) Some have other issues going on in their lives that keep them from being able to focus energy on adoption.
5 comments:
What I have heard from my Christian friends is the money issue.
Here is my opinion:
1. They are DNA idolators. (and yes I would even use that phrase. my husband has in preaching before).People idolize their genetics, they want someone who "looks" like them, they somehow think their blood is better than someone else's.
2. It will require the family to deal with difficult family members and strangers who don't understand or are simply racist and/or DNA idolators.
3.it will mess up their seemingly "perfect" and matching family Christmas card where they all bear some kind of cute little physical resemblance (you think i'm joking but we know people like this).
4. they THINK they cannot afford it. in my opinion, another bad excuse.
5. they are AFRAID of the process. the only reason for this is b/c they have not EDUCATED themselves on the process. another excuse, b/c the answer is simple. educate yourself.
My best question is instead "what is a good reason a Christian SHOULDN'T adopt?" Most reasons are self-focused and involve idols of our hearts if we are really honest with ourselves. I would focus (if I were you) on idols of the heart. Most people's reason for not adopting almost ALWAYS come down to idols in their heart..Idols of financial stability, appearance, DNA, time, convenience, the "burden" of an extra child or two, foregoing the luxury of extra spending money, etc. Or my FAVORITE...the ever present "spirituality excuses" of God's will, His timing, we don't know if God really wants us to adopt, etc, etc, etc. These excuse bother me more than anything. I'd rather hear someone say, "I just don't want to" than give spirituality excuses. Sometimes it is not a matter of God "revealing some great mighty truth about adoption to someone, or sending a lightning bolt that says, 'Now is the time!' Sometimes, it is just getting up and doing it. When Jesus was caring for the poor, the sick, the downtrodden, when did he stop and say, "well, I'll pray about doing something about their terrible situation. i will wait for God's timing." No, he acted right away, according to the need. Even with Jairius daughter, he didn't even wait to get there to heal her. She was healed before he even arrived.
anyway, just my thoghts. can you tell we get passionate about this? we hear A LOT of Christian gives these lame excuses when really in their hearts, their idols just don't want to.
Oh boy, where to begin.
1) It's too expensive, 2) They want to try to have a biological child/children first, 3) They have their "plan" (I was actually told this after I encouraged someone to adopt, even though they had just said, "I'd love to adopt."), 4) They haven't come face-to-face with the need (faces, not just numbers), 5) Especially international adoption has many obstacles and long wait times, 6) Opposition (often from family) to adopt another race, 7) They don't want more children, 8) Some are not called to adopt (but some just aren't obedient to Christ's calling for them to adopt), 9) In domestic adoption, they're afraid the birth parent might change their mind and keep the child, 10) Some think they are too old (or too young), 11) Some don't want to use the energy and effort that it takes to adopt and parent, 12) Some fear the problems/baggage an adopted child might bring (lighting fires to the living room drapes, hurting the younger children, etc.), 13) Some fear they won't love an adopted child as much as their birth child/children, 14) Some have had such hard experiences while trying to adopt that they've selected a different path, 15) Some have other issues going on in their lives that keep them from being able to focus energy on adoption.
I'll let you know if I think of more.
Gina
I know you will do great. You are sharing God's mission...to care for the orphans. He will give you the words and the courage.
As far as reason I have heard why others don't...
*Money
*What others will think...transracial..etc.
*Not in their "plans"
Hope that helps. Many blessings!
Amy
What I've heard from others...
1. $$ issues, too expensive
2. Requires too much "riff raff" that might be made, racial remarks, DNA idolators
3. Doesn't seem "normal".
Post a Comment